Lovers from Friends
by Munchkin79
Summary: An act of desperation by Kathleen causes a domino effect of events leading Elliot to figure out what's really important to him in his life. A/N: I'm losing my fanfic virginity with this story, so please be gentle with reviews! Haha
1. Chapter 1

**Lovers from Friends**

The shrill ring of her phone startled her out of a sound sleep. Bolting upright on her couch, she answered breathlessly without checking the caller ID. "Benson."

"Olivia… I'm sorry did I wake you? I shouldn't have called…" Her voice was small and shaky.

"Kathleen? Honey, is everything ok?" Olivia glanced at the clock and immediately went to slip on her shoes. It was 2am on a Wednesday and she knew Kathleen Stabler would not be calling at that hour unless there was an emergency.

"I don't know…I just really need someone to talk to and I just can't deal with my parents right now…I- I'm sorry Liv, I should go…" Her voice cracked and she released a small sob.

"No! Kathleen, where are you? I'm going to come get you…just tell me where you are, sweetie." She ran a hand nervously through her hair and grabbed her grey hoodie, making her way out of the apartment.

She knew that Kathleen had been doing well lately since starting medications to treat her bipolar disorder. She was excelling at school, holding a part time job, and even getting along with her family. Ever since Olivia helped her the night she and Elliot found her wrapped in a shower curtain in the park, high on life and God knows what else, Kathleen had been coming to her with her problems and anything she didn't feel comfortable talking to her parents about. The two had become close over the past couple of years, but Olivia had barely heard from her in the past month. She hadn't been too concerned though, because she knew Kathleen had been dating someone new and Elliot had told her that they had been in their own little world. He would roll his eyes while talking about his daughter's new boyfriend, but Olivia knew that he was secretly happy for her because she was finally in a healthy relationship and in a good place in her life. But now with this 2am phone call from a clearly distraught Kathleen, Olivia surmised everything wasn't as wonderful as her father made it seem.

"I'm sitting in my car outside the dorms…I don't know where to go! I can't go in there, Liv. I can't look at him…I can't take the chance that he'll be there!" Kathleen began to cry uncontrollably at this point. "…and I can't go home because dad will just blow everything out of proportion and it won't fix anything!" She hiccupped, her voice quivering. "How could he _do_ this to me, Liv?"

Olivia's heart broke for her. Obviously the new boyfriend wasn't prince charming after all. "Kathleen, stay there. I'm on my way. Why would Jake be in your dorm? What happened?"

As Olivia navigated through the city streets on the way to Hudson University, Kathleen told the story of how she found him sneaking out of the room of a girl that lived down the hall in her dorm a few nights ago. Everyone on her floor, in addition to Jake and some of the other girls' dates had been at a party on campus, but Kathleen had left early to meet up with some girlfriends for coffee, telling Jake she would catch up with him later that night since he seemed to be hitting it off with her roommate's boyfriend. By the time she headed back towards her room two hours later, she caught him in the hallway just as he was quietly slipping out of the girl's room, zipping up the fly of his jeans. He had been mortified and immediately began apologizing, blaming one too many beers for his actions. He swore it wasn't as bad as it looked and that he stopped things before they got too far. Jake had been calling her and coming over to try to make things up to her every day since. She couldn't handle it anymore.

Olivia pulled into the campus fifteen minutes later and located Kathleen's car. She was slumped over the steering wheel, her shoulders shaking violently.

Olivia gently tapped on the car window and opened the door, pulling out the distraught woman and leading her to the passenger seat of her Mustang.

"I really thought he could be the one," she stammered. "I had been so happy lately that I even stopped taking my meds a couple weeks ago. I don't need them anymore…everything was going great! I don't know what happened…how did it all go so wrong so fast? I just want to die!" She looked at Olivia with watery eyes, pleading for answers.

_Shit_.

She stopped taking her meds. Something clicked in Olivia's mind as she looked over her partner's hysterical daughter. Her hair was a mess, clothes unkempt, and her extreme reaction to losing a boyfriend of less than one month all began to make some sense.

"Sweetie, come here." She threw her arms around the young woman who had become like a daughter to her over the years. Kathleen clung to Olivia like a lifeline, thanking her for coming to get her. "I'm so sorry about what happened, but you are a strong person and you'll get through this, okay?" Kathleen nodded faintly against her shoulder as Olivia stroked her tangled hair. She asked cautiously, not wanting her to get defensive, "When did you stop taking your medication?"

"Um, 2 or 3 weeks ago, I guess. Please don't tell my dad about all this, Liv…please! He has been so proud of me recently and now I'm a mess again. I've even been blowing off work and class for the past week. What's _wrong_ with me?" Fresh tears began to fall and Olivia felt like she was caught between a rock and a hard place. She didn't want to betray Kathleen's trust in her, but how could she not tell Elliot? If she were a parent, she sure as hell would want to know if her sick daughter was falling into a depression and not taking her medications!

What the _hell_ had she gotten herself in the middle of?

Olivia dropped a heavy hand on her blaring alarm at 6am, groaning as she pulled her pillow over her head. It had only been 2 hours since Kathleen finally cried herself to sleep and passed out in her bed. Olivia stretched her aching back and neck from sleeping on the couch, and headed into the bathroom for a hot shower. She inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of her vanilla shower gel as the warm spray and steam soothed her sore muscles. She needed to figure out how to tell Elliot what was going on with his daughter in a way that wouldn't lead him to needlessly freak out. Last night she told Kathleen that she could stay at her place for as long as she needed to as long as she promised to start taking her medication again. Kathleen hadn't committed to anything, but told her she would consider it as she was drifting off to sleep. Elliot was fiercely protective of his children and keeping a secret like this from him would surely cause a rift in their friendship once he found out. She knew she would have to tell him eventually, but decided to wait until tomorrow. After work she would talk to Kathleen again when she was hopefully in a less emotional state of mind. Hopefully she could convince her to talk to her father about how she had been feeling on her own.

Olivia sighed and finished getting ready for work.

An hour later, she was settled in at her desk, checking her e-mail and sipping a steaming cup of coffee when Elliot walked into the station.

"Morning, Liv," he said with a smile.

"Hey," she mumbled shortly, staring at her computer screen, unable to make eye contact.

Elliot looked at her; brow furrowed, then shrugged it off, heading to the coffee machine.

Smooth, Olivia, she thought sarcastically. He's not going to suspect anything is amiss _now_! She rolled her eyes at herself and vowed to act as normal as possible around him until she figured out how to tell him about Kathleen.

Normal around him.

Whatever _tha_t meant.

Their relationship was nothing if not complicated and more often than not, it was just plain awkward. She glanced over at him as he poured himself a mug of coffee and let her mind drift. Things had been much more comfortable with him lately though. Much less arguing and tension, but also less passion and fire. She felt like they had become akin to an old married couple, at ease and in synch with each other, but also not as close as they used to be on some levels. She misses it. She misses him…the old him. The Elliot from years ago that had an uncanny ability to affect her mood with one piercing look or one simple word. The Elliot who, admittedly after much prodding, confided in her when he wouldn't communicate with anyone else; not even his wife. The Elliot who made an effort to make sure she was okay and safe at all times, no matter what he had to do, even when she resisted or resented his actions.

She had been in love with him for years. Deep, passionate, all-encompassing love. Now it's just been tamped down because she realizes she had no choice but to do so. He was back to being happily married (at least this week) and she had long accepted the fact that they will never be together romantically. She was almost positive he had never thought of her in_ that_ way anyhow. She learned to be content with the way things were between them now. Long time partners and good friends… and that wasn't so bad…

"Olivia, are you in there?" a voice asked incredulously. She was shaken from her thoughts as an irritable Cragen called out to her. She and Elliot had caught a case and needed to head out to the scene ASAP.

"Uh, sorry, Cap…didn't get much sleep last night," she mumbled, pushing her chair out from under her desk.

Elliot observed her curiously as he grabbed their coats off the rack. "Ready?" he asked passing the coat to her.

"Yeah, let's go." It was going to be a long day.

It was about 7pm when Olivia finished the last of her paperwork and was about to call it a day. Elliot leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms above him, then lacing his fingers behind his head while eying his partner. "Hey Liv, let's get outta here and grab a drink." He knew something had been on her mind all day, as evidenced by her distracted behavior, but figured she would talk about it if she wanted to. They were passed the point of trying to force conversation out of each other like in the old days. She knew he was there for her and vice versa. No words were needed.

Olivia hesitated at his request, feeling a bit uneasy. Kathleen had promised her that they would talk tonight about how she had been feeling depressed lately so that they could discuss how to get her back on track; but what could a quick drink with her partner first hurt? She smiled at him, always up for an opportunity to spend time with him outside of work. "OK…but I just have time for one tonight."

"Hot date later?" he asked with a mischievous wink.

"Yes, please," she muttered under her breath, as she moved to grab her purse and coat.

"What was that, Liv?"

"Nothing… let's go Stabler! You're buying!"

Elliot chuckled lightly, rolling his eyes. "Of course."

Olivia sent a brief text to Kathleen, saying she would be home shortly as they silently made their way to the local pub down the street from the station. They entered the dim, empty bar and hopped on some barstools, ordering two beers.

Elliot took a long pull from the bottle, glancing sideways at his partner. "So, we haven't done this in a while, huh? Just you and me grabbing a drink after a rough day…"

"Yeah, well, you've been going straight home like a good little boy every night after work these days," she teased, ignoring the slight twinge of jealousy she felt thinking of her partner's renewed efforts to play the happy couple with Kathy.

He snorted, "Daddy duty." He took another long drink of his beer. "Eli has been quite the handful lately let me tell you! I don't know how Kathy does it all day by herself. Between Eli getting into everything and the twins in that fun 'know it all' teenager phase, I don't know how she keeps her sanity." He chuckled, shaking his head.

Smirking, Olivia bumped his shoulder with her own, "Well, that's what happens when you decide to repopulate all of Queens."

He laughed and said, "At least they are good kids. I couldn't be more proud. Especially of Kathleen, after all she'd been through…"

As if on cue, Olivia's cell rang, Kathleen's name flashing on the screen. "Gotta take this, El. I'll be right back," she said as she made her way outside of the bar.

Elliot nodded and watched her hurriedly walk out the door. He was hoping she would open up and talk to him about what had been on her mind all day, but here he was going on about his family and talking her ear off.

Yeah, he could really be a selfish prick sometimes.

He sighed as he began to pick at the label on his beer. Glancing outside, he could see from her body language that Olivia was distressed. She was pacing back and forth and running her hand nervously through her hair, her phone pressed into her right ear.

"Kathleen, you need to speak up, I can't understand you, honey." Olivia pushed her index finger into her left ear, trying to block out the sounds of the city on the busy street.

"Where are you 'livia?" she slurred into the phone. "Needed to talk, but…soooo tired. Hmmm…tell dad I'm sorry."

Olivia's heart stopped.

"Kathleen? Kathleen? Wake up, I'm coming home now! What is going on?" She yelled into the phone. She knew she shouldn't have stopped for a drink after work, leaving Kathleen alone and dejected any longer than she had to. She silently cursed herself as she tried to get her attention. "Kathleen! Please answer me! What have you done?"

"I'm sorry, but I just can't 'nymore," she mumbled. Olivia's eyes widened as she pleaded with her to stay awake. After getting no response other than the sound of Kathleen's labored breathing, she hung up the phone and immediately called for a bus to her apartment.

She ran back into the bar and threw down a twenty, grabbing a confused Elliot harshly by the arm. "We have to go right now!"

"The _fuck_, Liv?" Elliot clambered off the barstool and ran after her.

"I'll explain on the way to my place. I…I think Kathleen tried to hurt herself."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much to those that reviewed! Happy Hallowen! :)**

"Why the _fuck_ didn't you tell me what was going on, Olivia? This is _my_ daughter, _my_ family. How dare you keep this from me!" She could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears as they raced up to her apartment, taking the steps two at a time.

"Oh fuck you Elliot! She called me because she thought you would overreact, like you always do! Don't put _your_ guilt for not knowing how your daughter's been on me!" As they reached the top of the stairs, they saw her door had been busted open. Rushing inside, they took in the scene before them.

Kathleen was sprawled out on Olivia's couch mumbling incoherently. The room was littered with beer bottles and a half empty pill bottle. One paramedic was hunched over Kathleen taking her vitals, while the other was preparing the gurney.

Elliot ran inside to kneel on the floor beside her, cupping the side of her face. "Kathleen! Please, baby! Why?"

Olivia looked on with tears in her eyes as the paramedics lifted her from the couch, strapping her onto the gurney. Elliot mumbled over and over, "But she was doing so well…"

It felt like she was in the middle of a nightmare.

"Excuse me sir," the young EMT stated firmly. "We need to get her to the hospital right away. She has been drifting in and out of consciousness. It appears she consumed half of this bottle of Tylenol PM, washed down with about a twelve pack of beer. She'll need to have her stomach pumped."

"Oh my God." Olivia felt numb.

Elliot stared blankly at the medic, then over at Olivia. "Not again."

**{EO}**

Olivia was sitting in the cold, sterile hospital waiting room when Kathy and Maureen Stabler came running in.

"Olivia! What happened…where's Elliot?" Kathy exclaimed breathlessly, rushing over to her with a terrified looking Maureen in tow.

Olivia placed a soothing hand on Kathy's arm. "She's going to be okay, Kathy. Elliot is with her now. They had to pump her stomach and give her fluids, but she is going to be just fine. She needs to stay here 72 hours for a psychiatric hold and observation, but she'll get the help she needs…I'm so sorry." The guilt she felt from not telling Elliot right away and not going straight home after work to be with Kathleen consumed her.

"Why, Olivia?" Kathy choked out, holding back her tears. "Why didn't she come to me if she was feeling so miserable?" Suddenly her expression hardened. "It's because of Elliot, isn't it? He is too tough on the kids and they never want to come to us because they're afraid of how he'll react…how he'll judge them!"

Olivia looked at her with shock and confusion. "No, Kathy. You _know_ how much he loves those kids. He may be tough, but he'd do anything for them. He'd rather die than see them suffer. You can't blame this on him."

She released a sharp breath. "I know, I know," she sniffled. "I just don't understand why Kathleen wouldn't tell anybody." She put her arm around her eldest daughter. "I mean, Maureen did you have any idea that she had been so down lately?" Maureen looked at her mother with sadness in her eyes.

"No, mom. None of us did. I hadn't even heard from her the last week or so. I left her voice mails and texts with no response. Before that, everything seemed fine." She looked over at Olivia. "Does Jake know what happened, Liv? Is he here?" Her big blue eyes were shining with unshed tears.

Before she could answer, Elliot came into the room looking exhausted.

"Elliot!" Kathy ran over to him, throwing her arms around him.

He rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. "It's okay, Kath…she's okay, thank God." He backed away from his wife and went over to his eldest child. "You okay, baby?"

Maureen wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Yeah, I just don't understand how this happened again. How did none of us know? At least last time she had been acting strangely for a while…"

"Last time she wasn't trying to hurt herself on purpose, Maur," Olivia interrupted. Three sets of bright blue eyes stared at her.

"How do you know that this time it _was_ on purpose? Do you know something we don't, Liv?" Maureen asked.

"She glanced nervously over to Elliot who was still staring at her with an expression she couldn't read.

Elliot cleared his throat and motioned to Kathy and Maureen. "Why don't you two go in and see Kathleen. I'm going to grab us some coffees and I'll join you in a few minutes."

They all looked at him with wide, questioning eyes.

"Okay, dad. Come on mom…maybe we can get some answers from her." Maureen warily looked at her father and then Olivia. Their eyes were interlocked, seemingly having a silent conversation.

Elliot tore his eyes away from Olivia's and said, "She's in room 304. I'll be right up." He pressed a kiss onto Kathy's temple.

{EO}

"Okay, Liv tell me what the hell happened and why the fuck you didn't call me _or_ tell me all day," he said quietly around clenched teeth.

Olivia winced at his tone. "Elliot, I'm so sorry, but I had no idea how grave this all was. How could I have predicted Kathleen would do this? She swiped her hand across her cheek, wiping away a tear. "I planned on talking to her tonight to convince her to tell you how she has been feeling herself. She pleaded with me not to tell you what was going on, but I couldn't promise her that. I also didn't want to betray her trust. Can't you see I was put in an awkward position?"

"Yeah well, while you were so concerned with not betraying Kathleen, you betrayed _me _and now look what happened!"

Olivia stared at the red faced man before her with disbelief. Was he really trying to blame this on her?

"Listen Elliot, I feel bad enough about this as it is without you making it worse," she grabbed her jacket and turned to leave. "I don't need this shit from you."

"This conversation isn't over," he shouted to her retreating form.

**{EO}**

"Dammit Elliot, I'm so sick of this of this crap!" Kathy cried. "Why would she call _Olivia_ before one of us?"

"Kath, you _know_ those two bonded after the last time a couple years ago. You can't blame this on Olivia…she was just trying to help!"

"You know what, Elliot? This is ridiculous! Olivia is _not_ family and it's about time you realized that!" Kathy was livid. As much as he had been trying to be a better family man lately, he still always defended his partner first over anyone.

It always made Kathy feel like shit.

"Listen, Kathy, you need to calm down. I'm upset Olivia knew what was going on before we did too, but there has to be a perfectly good reason she didn't want to tell us."

"I can't do this anymore Elliot. I – I know you have been making an effort, but we- we just don't see eye to eye on the important things…" Kathy trailed off, looking down at her shoes.

Elliot blinked. "What are you saying, Kath?" He cupped her face in his hands and searched her moist eyes for answers.

"You know I love you, but I feel like everything has been forced lately – because of Eli, you know?" She clasped her hands behind his head, rubbing his cheeks with her thumbs. "Our daughter just tried to_ kill_ herself, Elliot. None of us had any idea that she was feeling this way and who did she go to? Olivia!" She inhaled deeply. "…and you don't see anything wrong with that."

Elliot winced and pulled himself out of her grasp. "Of_ course_ I do! I'm fuckin' pissed! But I can't help that Kathleen chose to seek out Olivia during this time and I'm realizing we both should be thanking our lucky stars that she did, otherwise God knows what could have happened!"

Kathy took a deep breath and forged ahead, "Elliot, I'm just not sure that Kathleen didn't come to me because of you and your inability to understand or accept her illness. This is our daughter's_ life_! It's going to be a life long struggle for her and you and I just aren't on the same page on how to handle it!" She started to break down. "We haven't been on the same page with anything lately…"

"Please don't do this now," Elliot whispered. "I need this family."

Kathy met his eyes with a stony expression. "I know you need this family…but you don't need _me_."

Elliot stared at her vacantly, not knowing how to best respond. "Kathy, how could you say that?"

She grabbed his hand, giving him a soft, sad smile. "Because it's true…and we both know it."

**{EO}**

An adamant knock on her door roused her from a restless sleep at 3am. She padded to the door, peeking out of the peep hole to see her miserable looking partner.

Swinging the door open, she said, "Elliot? Is everything ok? How's Kathleen?"

Elliot peered at her sheepishly. "She's fine, Liv, I'm sorry to wake you, but…can I – would it be okay if I crashed on your couch tonight?"

Olivia took in his disheveled appearance and knew that something major must have happened. He never came around this time of night and especially never once asked if he could stay on her couch.

She motioned for him to come inside the apartment and furrowed her brow. "Of course El, but what happened? Why can't you go home?"

He looked everywhere except for her eyes and stated, "Kathy and I decided to take a break…again."

"Are you kidding me?" Olivia asked. "How could you two decide that at a time like this…when Kathleen needs you the most?"

Elliot walked passed her and flopped onto the couch. "Not now Liv! Do you have any beer?"

She glared at him.

"I promise, I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, but tonight…I just need a beer, a friend, and a place to sleep, okay?"

She walked over to him and squeezed his shoulder. "Okay, El…one beer, one friend, and one place to pass out is all yours." She smiled at him and went to her fridge to grab him a cold beer.


	3. Chapter 3

They had spent the night talking about Kathleen and everything that led up to her ending up in the hospital. Elliot finally understood what was going on and why Olivia kept things to herself for the time being. They talked about his wife and how he ended up on Olivia's doorstep in the middle of the night.

As she lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling, she reflected on the past two days. She felt pity for her partner, her friend. He had been trying so hard ever since he found out Kathy was pregnant with Eli. Tried his best to be there for his family, but it seemed it just wasn't enough. Perhaps things were too far gone between him and Kathy to be able to get back to what they once were prior to him taking the position with SVU. He admitted to her that regardless of their efforts, their relationship still felt a bit forced and that as much as he loved Kathy, a part of him knew they had grown apart.

It left her feeling conflicted.

Olivia felt terrible for Elliot losing his wife yet again, but a small, more selfish part of her felt a smidge of hope. Hope that maybe this time she would find the courage to make something happen with Elliot. Hope that maybe there was a slight chance he felt the same way. She felt incredibly guilty for having these thoughts while her heart broken partner lay sleeping in the next room on her sofa bed.

She took a deep breath and turned on her side, glancing at her alarm clock.

5:34am.

Another restless night. At least tomorrow was Saturday and although she was on call, she could sleep in. Maybe she would treat Elliot to breakfast; they could visit Kathleen in the hospital, and then spend the day trying to cheer him up. Fortunately, he had forgiven her and things between them were okay again.

She wondered if this time, the rift between him and Kathy was permanent. Despite all of his efforts to put on the happy family front, she knew Elliot hadn't been truly happy lately. He never spoke about Kathy anymore and he seemed calmer these days. Olivia initially had thought his new attitude was due to Elliot finally feeling at peace; content with what he had. In reality, after talking to him tonight, she discovered that it was due to him simply giving up and feeling defeated. Elliot had revealed that although he adored his children, he and Kathy would never be the same couple they were prior to their original split year ago.

She berated herself for having fantasies that involved Elliot confessing his long repressed adoration for her now that Kathy was gone. Fantasies about him taking her roughly to make urgent, passionate, love to her. She threw her arm over her eyes and huffed out a frustrated breath.

She _had_ to stop thinking this way.

_Friends_, she thought to herself. _That's all we are and all he will ever see you_ _as_.

**{EO}**

Later that morning, Olivia woke to the sound of Elliot speaking harshly into his cell phone, his voice still hoarse with sleep.

"No, Kathy," he yawned. "I slept in the cribs last night and now I'm on my way to grab a quick bite with Olivia. Then we'll head over to the hospital around 11." He felt guilty lying to her, but her knowing he stayed at Olivia's would just piss her off even more. He didn't need that right now; not while his daughter needed both of her parents there and to be strong. He rolled his neck to relieve some tension and said, "Will you be there? I think she really needs to see us all there…yes, Kathy, Olivia will be with me." He sighed heavily. "Kath, what do you expect? Kathleen tried to _kill_ herself in Liv's apartment and you want me to tell her not to come see her?"

He always knew that although Kathy liked Olivia, a small part of her felt jealous of their relationship and the time they spent together. His two favorite women have always had a bit of a strained friendship, but Elliot never backed down from defending Olivia to Kathy. She was his family just as much as his biological family.

He ended the conversation with Kathy agreeing to meet her at the hospital at 11am. He padded over to Olivia's bedroom and gently rapped on her door. "Hey Liv, you up?"

She had just stepped out of the shower, hair wet and wrapped in a plush bathrobe. "Yeah, El," she yelled from her room. "I'll be out in ten. Want to get breakfast…my treat?" She smiled, peaking at him through her door.

He grinned back at her. "Not gonna argue with that."

He caught a glimpse of her in a pink, terry cloth robe. He never figured his partner as a 'pink' type of girl. In fact, he had never really considered her much besides the way she was at work; the tough, independent woman he knew her to be. But seeing her in pink made him smile to himself. Maybe there was another, more feminine side to his partner that he didn't know existed.

Interesting.

**{EO}**

After a leisurely breakfast, Elliot drove them to the hospital to meet up with Kathy and the kids to visit Kathleen for a while. Olivia was a little nervous, especially knowing there would be tension between everyone, but she was looking forward to seeing Kathleen. She took a deep breath and glanced at Elliot before they walked into room 304.

Kathleen was sitting up in the hospital bed, chatting quietly with her siblings while Kathy looked on with tears in her eyes. Olivia couldn't imagine what she must be feeling now.

"Olivia," Kathleen whispered, her eyes turning glassy. Olivia embraced her tightly.

"How're you feeling, sweetie?" she sniffed.

"Liv, I'm _so_ sorry for everything. I never should have put you in the middle of all this…I just didn't know where else to go and I trust you," she said, her voice quivering.

Elliot glanced over at Kathy, while his daughter and Olivia continued their talk. She was silent, standing with her arms wrapped around her, and tears running down her cheeks. His heart broke as he placed an arm around her shoulders.

"You okay?" he whispered.

She squeezed his hand and smiled tightly. "Yeah, I'll be fine." She wiped at her damp cheeks. "The psychiatrist said that she is finally medically stable and she will be starting therapy and a new medication this afternoon." She took a step away from her husband and looked into his eyes. "Apparently she told Olivia that she had stopped taking her medicine…"

"I know Kath. Liv told me everything last night." He looked down at his shoes.

"Right," she said shortly, then cleared her throat. "Well, let's just focus on Kathleen right now. I was thinking of taking the kids to my mother's until she gets discharged and then we can figure out how we want to tell them what's going on with us."

Elliot stared at her with sorrow in his eyes. "You sure this is what you want…that you want to decide something like this now with Kathleen going through all this?"

She reached up to caress his cheek, softly. "I'm just tired, Elliot. You know?"

He placed his hand over hers. "Yeah…I do." He swallowed the lump in his throat, holding back his tears. "This is really it this time, huh?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Yeah."

He kissed her cheek and sniffed. "Gonna go talk to Kathleen now. We'll figure out when to tell the kids when you get back from your mom's. Call me though Kath…if you need anything, okay?" He smiled sadly.

"I will…thanks, El. I'm gonna take the kids and head out now. We've been here for a while and Eli is due for a nap. We'll be back tomorrow around the same time."

"Okay, I'll see you then." He went over to gather his kids in a big hug, interrupting their chatter with Kathleen and Olivia.

"Love you guys," he said pressing a kiss to each one of their foreheads.

Olivia chanced a look over them at Kathy, who nodded at her, smiling tightly.

"Come on guys, what do you say we visit grandma tonight?"

**{EO}**

The drive back to her place was uncomfortably silent.

"So…uh, Kathleen looked good, don't you think?" She asked staring straight ahead watching the cars whiz by.

"She did," he responded, keeping his eyes trained on the road ahead.

Neither of them quite knew what else to say. Olivia knew he and Kathy were in a deep conversation while she was talking with his kids and now he was avoiding the inevitable conversation she knew she had to draw out of him.

For his part, Elliot didn't know how to tell Olivia that his marriage was definitely done…again. For real this time. Not just a break…

Really.

"El?"

"Yeah?" he peered at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Are you going to talk to me? About what happened with Kathy?" She placed her hand gently on his thigh.

He shot her a look as he turned into her parking garage and pulled into a space. "It's over, Liv. My daughter tried to kill herself, my wife left me_ again_, and _you_ think I'm a shitty dad." He got out of the car and slammed the door. "That what you want to hear?" He stalked off to entrance of her building, leaving her standing next to his car, staring in disbelief.

"Of _course_ that's not what I want to hear Elliot! What the hell?" She jogged to catch up with him, grabbing his arm to spin him towards her. "Just come upstairs and we'll have some beers and order crap food and you can get everything off your chest…"

He cut her off, grabbing her and pulling her to his chest tightly. "I'm sorry, Liv. I'm sorry you are involved in all of my family _bullshit_! I just want you to know, you're the best friend I've got." He released her just as suddenly and she stumbled backward.

"It's all right, El." She looked at him wide eyed and stunned with the physical contact. "Just come on…you know I'm here for you no matter what. You can stay as long as you need, okay?"

"I don't want to be alone…"

"You don't have to be," she glanced up at him shyly, behind a curtain of hair. "You'll always have me."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed...keep e'm coming! :) A HUGE thank you to the super talented DarkAlley29 who Beta'd about 98% of this for me! On with the story...**

He had been sleeping on Olivia's old, worn out pull out couch for a little over two weeks while he sorted things out with his wife and children. She kept true to her word, being there for him when he needed to vent and even when he just needed to drink until he didn't feel anymore.

He'd been looking for apartments, but not with the urgency he probably should have been. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was actually enjoying staying with her. He learned something new about her, nearly every day and they were growing closer as friends.

It beat being alone in his big, empty house in Queens.

He and Kathy put the house up for sale three days ago, as they both agreed that neither of them wanted to live there anymore with all of the memories they shared together. Kathy had moved in with her mother for the time being and the extra help with Eli was definitely appreciated.

Together, they told the kids about the split, almost a week after Kathleen left the hospital.

Kathleen had decided to take the rest of the semester off to get herself together. She was on a new medication, and going to therapy again weekly. She was on her way to making peace with what happened between her and Jake, but was just not ready to go back to the dorms and class. She came to see Elliot and Olivia at least twice a week, their relationship even stronger than before after all they had been through together.

The rest of the kids hadn't taken the news of the split as badly as they thought they would. Perhaps they just didn't take the threat of divorce seriously anymore.

Elliot really hadn't either until the expedited papers for legal separation came in the mail the previous day.

For the first time in his entire rocky marriage, Elliot truly knew it was over this time. As distraught as he was, he knew it was the right thing for everyone involved. He and Kathy had simply been going through the motions. He did love her, but his main focus had been on their children, not on improving their strained relationship. Truth is, he'd been lonely for the type of romantic love they once shared. It had been _years_ since he felt that for her.

He felt guilty as fuck for that.

Fortunately, everything had been amicable between the ex-couple. He and Kathy had agreed that they would always care for each other and would try to remain good friends. Despite everything, she had been a huge part of his life for over 23 years.

He would never stop caring.

A knock at the door jarred him from his melancholy thoughts.

Olivia shouted from her bedroom, "Be right there, Ben!"

Elliot watched her, finding it entertaining as she flittered around the apartment looking for her cell phone and purse. He smiled to himself, amused at the girly side of his partner as she got ready for a date. It was kind of cute.

Shoving her phone into her clutch, she asked, "Do I look okay?"

Elliot took her in for the first time that night, really looking at her. She had on a royal blue dress that hugged every sensual curve just right. Her gleaming, chestnut hair was in soft waves and her eyes were smoldering. Her plump, glossy lips were moving again, but he didn't hear a word she said. His gaze slowly raked down the length of her voluptuous body to her shiny, black, stilettos. He breathed in the subtle but hypnotic aroma of her perfume. As his eyes met hers again, he realized she was staring at him, her right eyebrow quirked.

He swallowed hard, "What was that, Liv?"

She smirked. "I _said_ are you sure you don't mind being on your own for the night?"

He watched as she sauntered over to the door to meet her date. "'Course not," he said roughly, his throat suddenly dry. "You have fun. I'm gonna head out soon to take the kids to the movies anyway."

She smiled at him and winked as she placed her hand in her date's arm, closing the door behind her.

What the hell was that?

She didn't even introduce him to her cheesy looking date. And why the fuck was his face burning, his heart rate beating out of control?

He had always been protective of her, but this felt different. The past two weeks had been filled with seeing his partner more as a woman and not just "one of the guys." He had always thought she was cute, but lately…it was just… different.

**{EO}**

Looking over in the darkness at the glowing digital numbers on the DVD player clock for the millionth time that night, Elliot grumbled under his breath about the late hour, turning over on the uncomfortable sofa bed. Olivia still hadn't come home from her date and it was approaching 1:30am. Just as he was about to send her a text message to make sure she was all right, she came stumbling noisily into the apartment.

"Shhh," she giggled to herself as she tossed her clutch onto the kitchen counter, where it landed with a metallic ping from the buckle on the front closure. She shut the door behind her, and then slumped against it heavily for a moment before she noticed Elliot staring at her, sitting up on the sofa bed.

"Elliot!" she flopped onto the bed next to him. She shucked off her jacket, toed off her heels, and made her way under the warm, fleece blanket. "Hi," she said sleepily.

Elliot rolled his eyes at her, but was amused at the same time. "Liv, what the hell are you doing…you're bombed!"

She sat upright, offended, and pointed her index finger, touching the tip of his nose. "_You're_ bombed!"

His eyes narrowed at her, "Geez, Liv how much did you drink tonight? Must've had a fun date…"

"Terrible, terrible. Date was _terrible." _She mumbled_._ She leaned into him and he could feel her hot breath against his cheek. "Can I tell you somethin', El?" she whispered against his ear, sending chills down his body.

He cleared his throat and glanced down at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'm afraid to ask…" he snorted.

"I shoulda just went to the movies with you and the kids." The words left her lips in a rush of air, strung together.

Elliot chuckled, shaking his head as he pushed himself off the bed and made his way into the small kitchen. He grabbed a cold bottle of water from the fridge and placed it on the side table next to her. "That bad, huh?"

Olivia snuggled down under the blanket, rubbed her face against the soft, down pillow and closed her eyes. "Yeah, but I'm kinda used to it…"

He laid down next her, over the cozy blanket, and smiled at her. "Why is that?"

In her hazy state of mind, she whispered dreamily, "No one compares to you…" She dozed off with a soft smile on her face, leaving Elliot looking over at her in disbelief.

Did that really just happen?

**{EO}**

The next morning, Elliot left for work hurriedly before Olivia woke up, needing the time with his thoughts. He could barely sleep last night after Olivia's words. He wondered if it was just the liquor talking, or if she actually felt that way. He had felt a flutter deep in his stomach at her admittance and tossed and turned on the hard mattress while she snored softly at his side.

Maneuvering his way through the early morning rush hour traffic, he tried to make sense of everything that happened in the last couple of weeks. He had been feeling so low since he moved out of the home he shared with his wife and children for the past nineteen years. The last few weeks though, Olivia had made him feel hope again; made him feel like he could get past the dark thoughts and emotions that he suffered through every night since Kathleen's incident. It had truly surprised him. He had always looked at Olivia as somewhat of a tortured soul. As someone who over-identified with the victims and had not much of a personal life. Living with her and learning who she was first hand made him realize how wrong he was. He discovered a silly, carefree side to his partner he never knew existed. He discovered that despite all he thought he knew about her, she could also be quite feminine and insecure…and beautiful. Elliot, for the first time, began to see her as more. More than just his partner of over a decade, but as a sexy woman that actually had feelings for him.

Elliot entered the bustling squad room with two strong coffees in his hands, knowing that both he and Olivia would be in need of the extra caffeine boost. About twenty minutes after he arrived, Olivia came traipsing in, her usual radiance absent from her complexion. She eyed the Styrofoam cup on her desk, then Elliot with a look of extreme gratitude.

"You might need to heat it up a bit there, drunky," Elliot teased.

She scanned the surrounding area before she responded quietly. "Did I do something stupid last night, El?"

She had woken up alone on her sofa bed, head pounding and with a distinct feeling she may have said something a bit too revealing to Elliot in her drunken state. Olivia couldn't even remember how she ended up on the sofa, and not her own comfortable queen sized bed. She had quickly showered and rushed to the precinct, wondering why he didn't wake her before he left.

Elliot stared at her, brow creased, a look of sheer disappointment marring his handsome face.

"No…not at all, Liv." He broke eye contact and focused on his computer screen, fingers typing furiously.

Olivia watched him, confused by his short reply, and then shrugged. She put her purse in the desk drawer and began to log on to her computer, stealing the occasional curious glance at Elliot while she prepared for the work day.

Elliot stared at his computer screen, not really seeing anything that was in front of him. Olivia hadn't remembered anything. Apparently she had been drunker than he thought last night. He watched her as she sipped her coffee and wondered if he should jog her memory. After all, she did drop a pretty big bombshell on him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he couldn't bring it up. The truth is that when it came to her, he was a bit of a coward.

It had always been that way.

It had to change.

"Hey, Liv, do you have plans tonight?" he whispered across their joined desks.

She arched her brow at him and said, "No, why?"

"How 'bout we order in and talk about…well just talk?" He glanced down at his desk awkwardly.

She tilted her head to the side, considering his statement. "'Kay…sounds good," she said slowly.

"Good," he replied

"Good," she said nervously.

What the fuck did she _do_ last night? Fucking alcohol!

She let out a frustrated sigh and peered over at him again, meeting his gaze across the desks.

He was smirking at her and blushing at the same time.

Again…what the _fuck_?

She focused back on her work, heart pounding in her chest, wondering what the night would bring.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I got this chapter done sooner than I thought I would…hope you enjoy! Reviews make my day! ****A big thanks again to Belle for the Beta!**

Olivia was about to take a bite of her second slice of mushroom pizza, when Elliot finally started talking. The large pie was half eaten in the cardboard box on her coffee table. Olivia had been seated on one side of her loveseat with Elliot as far over on the other side as possible. He had been quiet for the rest of the work day and during the car ride home. Once they had reached her apartment, he headed straight for the shower without saying a word.

While he was in the shower, Olivia had tried to figure out what Elliot's problem was – what she could have said the previous night that was causing him to give her the silent treatment. The more she tried to think about it though, the more her mind ended up drifting to Elliot in the shower. Wet, naked, sexy Elliot in her steamy bathroom, soapy water trickling down his body…Oh. God.

Elliot broke the silence when he cleared his throat and with a mouth full of pizza asked, "So, what happened last night?"

She swallowed and glanced over at him confused, forgetting he was there for a moment. "Um, what do you mean?"

He wiped his lips with a scratchy paper napkin and put his slice down on the paper plate on her wooden coffee table. "Well, you said your date was terrible and you came home smashed for starters." He gave her a lopsided grin.

"You really want to hear about this?" She smiled as he nodded eagerly, taking another huge bite of the greasy slice. "Well, it started out well enough…he's really attractive and smart and…

He rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw, a knot twisting in his stomach at her gushing about the unworthy loser she called a date. "Liv, get to the terrible part, will ya!"

Olivia blinked at him and then continued. "Uh, so as the conversation – that was all about him mind you - progressed during dinner, he told me he recently moved back home with his mother after a bad break up with a live-in girlfriend. His _fifth_ live-in girlfriend in the past _four_ years!" Elliot winced and shook his head. "Then, as if that wasn't bad enough for first date conversation, he ended up ordering two bottles of wine and a ton of food and had the balls to ask me to split the bill!"

Elliot looked at her in disbelief. "I don't know where you find these guys, Liv."

"Yeah, well then he proceeded to fill my wine glass continuously and before I knew it I was wasted and ended up telling him that it just wasn't going to work out between us and walked out of the restaurant and…well, you know the rest."

"Yikes…"

She chuckled, "I know. I'm so sick of these losers I keep meeting." Olivia glanced down at her hands, anxiously wringing her napkin as she spoke.

Elliot scooted over on the couch to put his arm around her hesitantly, causing her to look at him in surprise.

"I'm sorry, Liv. You really don't deserve that. Any guy fortunate enough to score a date with you, should be thanking his lucky stars if you ask me."

Her eyes widened and then gazed into his, the corner of her mouth curling upward in a half smile. "Thanks, El. That means a lot, especially coming from you."

When he felt like he was losing himself in her gaze, Elliot broke eye contact and moved back onto his side of the couch, removing his arm from her shoulder abruptly. "It's nothing." He gave her a short smile.

Olivia wondered what was up with him the last few days. He had been more attentive and even seemed a bit nervous around her at times. She eyed him curiously as he continued to eat his dinner. Could her mind be playing tricks on her because of all the extra time they were spending together, or did Elliot now seem to be…interested? She could only hope, but knew deep down that he was probably just missing the comfort of being in a relationship – being with Kathy. Even so, she had noticed him noticing her lately. In fact, on the night of her date, he seemed positively frazzled by her appearance before she left for the night. She had observed him looking her up and down, his face flushing a light pink. It's the way she'd been looking at _him _for years. She shook herself from that train of thought.

She looked over at him as he chugged down his glass of Pepsi. "By the way, how've things been with Kathy lately?" She mentally chastised herself as the words left her lips for bringing up the sensitive topic.

He took one more gulp of the soft drink and glared at her. "Gee, I don't know Liv, everything's been peachy…" he started.

"I'm sorry, El. You just haven't brought her up the past few days and I know how tough things were for you before then." She remembered the first two weeks of Elliot staying with her. He had drank himself stupid, punched a hole in her wall, and retreated into a dark place within himself before she was finally able to draw him out of his misery.

"I know you're just trying to be a good friend, Liv, but I'm doing okay now." He looked over at her with a serious expression. "I think I've finally started to accept that she and I just didn't work as a couple anymore. I mean, we'll always be friends and stuff because of the kids and because I've known her since I was eighteen, but we're just not the same people anymore, ya know?"

Smiling at him softly and placing her hand on his forearm, she said, "I can only imagine."

He placed his hand over hers on his forearm, but looked away. He took a deep breath. "Ever think about what'd be like if _we_ ever got together?"

Narrowing her eyes in confusion, Olivia stared at the side of his head and said, "I'm not gonna lie, El. Yeah, I have, but I always knew how much you love your family and would never act on it." She blushed at her sudden burst of courage and removed her hand from his arm. She gathered the half empty pizza box, plates and napkins and began to clean up after their meal.

Elliot watched her, stunned by her blunt honesty. How long had she felt that way?

And why did it fill him with a rush of excitement?

Although these feelings for his partner were relatively new for Elliot, he was beginning to realize that perhaps they had been there, tucked away in the recesses of his mind, for a longer time than he was willing to admit. It was freeing that he didn't have to push them away anymore.

Elliot stood up and walked over to Olivia, placing his hand over hers to stop her movements.

Olivia's eyes flitted back and forth between his own. "Liv, stop. Come sit with me and figure this out…"

"Figure what out? Way I see it, there's nothing much to figure out. You're on the rebound," she said with certainty. "And since when do _you_ like to talk?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Look, all I know is I'm having these thoughts – these feelings. I – I don't know what it all means, but I gotta say I'm curious to find out and from what you just told me, aren't you too?"

Olivia felt like she would pass out. With a racing heart, she plopped down on the couch and tried to make sense of what was happening. It all seemed so fast. There was no way Elliot's feelings could be genuine; not this soon after his split. He wasn't even divorced yet for crying out loud!

She realized she hadn't said anything for a few minutes when she finally looked up at Elliot, who was still watching her, obviously waiting for a response.

"Uh, I don't know El," she let out a huff of air. "Where's this coming from?" She pulled her legs up to sit crossed-legged on the couch and watched him. She tried to maintain her calm, not wanting to show him how his words affected her, when in reality her head was spinning with possibilities and hope.

Elliot crossed the room to sit next to her. He shook his head and smiled. "Honestly, I'm probably just as confused as you are…and it's not 'cause I'm on the rebound." She began to interrupt him. "No, Liv, hear me out. I know how fucked up I was when I first moved in here, but to be honest, it had much more to do with what happened with Kathleen than my impending divorce." He looked down at his hands set on his lap. "I don't know exactly when it started, Liv, but something's changed between us…"

"El, you're just…"

"No! I'm not _just_ anything! Don't tell me what I feel, Olivia. I've always cared about you and loved you as a person. You are amazing and a great cop…it's just that now- I just see you different since I've gotten to know you in this more personal way, ya know?"

She looked up at him with doubt and annoyance etched on her face. "So you're saying that now that you've seen me dressed up and going out with another man, you're suddenly attracted to me or something?" She stood up and walked across the room to give herself some distance. "Is that what this is about? Some feelings of protectiveness towards me? Or maybe you're just horny because you haven't gotten any in a while…"

Elliot crossed the room swiftly and gripped her bicep, fire in his eyes. "Don't you dare make this something cheap!" he growled. "If this was about a need to get laid, I could have gone anywhere, to anyone! Why jeopardize my relationship, my partnership, with you?" He continued as she pulled her arm roughly out of his grasp. "You aren't really hearing me here, Liv. I'm trying to tell you that I may have feelings for you! I know you feel the same and I know you're scared so…"

"I am _not_ having this conversation with you now, Elliot!"

"Why not?" He leaned into her, his chest pressed to hers, trapping her against the hard wall in the hallway leading to her bedroom.

Olivia laid her head against the wall and looked at him, his proximity intoxicating her and forcing her to admit the truth. She tried to fight against it – tried to deny him the satisfaction of finding out how she truly felt about him. Apparently he saw right through her.

"Elliot, what are you doing? We…"

He moved so that his lips were not quite touching hers, the barest whisper of a kiss.

She breathed harshly against him, not wanting to make the initial move, but wanting it desperately nonetheless.

Hesitantly, chastely, he pressed his lips against hers, hoping to calm her doubts. His hands threaded into her soft hair as he felt her respond slightly, enabling his confidence to grow.

Olivia admitted defeat and wrapped her arms around him, but broke the gentle kiss. She gazed into his eyes and saw all that she wanted out of him reflected back to her for the first time.

"Elliot, you just don't know…"

She was silenced by his lips, his strong hands cupping her face, his body pressed gently against hers.

What was happening…what was happening?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to all who have reviewed – they make my day! Here is an extra long chapter that I hope you enjoy **** Thanks again to DarkAlley29!**

With her lips against his, he felt all that had been repressed deep in the back of his mind for years. He gently drew her full bottom lip between his and nibbled lightly. All of the passion, tenderness, and comfort he had been craving from her over the past weeks were swirling seductively in the air around them. He felt like he could breathe deeply again. This is where he belonged and felt free. This woman who worked beside him, sat across his desk, and shared all of the horrors of life with him day after day, suddenly made him feel things he never felt before. She had always been there, right under his nose.

Elliot broke the kiss, placing his forehead gently against hers, and gasped for air. "Liv…Liv, I never knew," he whispered against her lips, then kissed her again. This time with more urgency, stealing her breath as he slipped his tongue between her lips.

Olivia moaned softly into his mouth and ran her fingers from the nape of his neck, through his hair clutching the back of his head, sending chills down his spine. He slid his hands down her back and over the curve of her ass and pulled her closer.

"Elliot," she breathed. He felt like his body was on fire. So many emotions churned around him as his eager hands explored her. Every soft sound she made ignited the fire even further. How it took him so long to get to this moment, he would never know. It was as if two pieces of a puzzle just snapped into place.

He felt Olivia trembling beneath his touch and pulled back to look into her eyes. "It's okay," he soothed. "This feels right, and it's _not_ because I'm lonely, or on the rebound, or just need someone…"

"El…" she started.

"No, Liv. I know what you're thinking." He pulled her into an embrace, her head buried into his neck. He took a deep breath. "I need and want_ you_." He stroked her hair as they swayed slowly, holding each other tightly. "I need _your_ smile, _your_ strength, and _your_ heart." She sniffled against his neck. "Oh, and right now, I really need _your_ body," he teased causing her to laugh softly against him, sending tickling vibrations down his body.

She pulled away and swatted at his chest playfully. "Damn, Stabler. You really know what to say to get into a girl's pants!"

He leered at her and wound his fingers into her belt loops, giving a tug. "These pants?"

"You're so corny," she chuckled.

"But is it working?"

He smiled.

She melted.

"Maybe…tell me what else you need," she slid her hands up his chest and around his neck, stroking his nape.

"Well," he swallowed. "I think I need these arms," he said running his hands lightly over them. "This neck," he said skimming his lips against it, placing a gentle bite. "Oh, and I _definitely_ need these lips." He lifted his head slightly from her neck to capture her in a deep, hot kiss.

After a moment, Olivia pulled back, exhaling a shaky breath. "Keep talkin'" she smiled softly.

He groaned exaggeratedly. "You're killin' me here, Liv. I'm hard as a rock and you want me to _talk_?"

She smiled at him seductively before pouncing on him, his back slamming against the opposite wall. She cupped the back of his head and roughly pressed her body against him, her tongue dancing against his. He groaned lowly, a bit shocked at her aggressiveness, but turned on as hell nonetheless. She began to pull him towards her bedroom, never breaking the kiss. As she started to unbuckle his belt, Elliot pulled back, panting against her ear.

"Liv…Liv, we don't have to…I mean, if you want to wait…"

She whipped his belt out of the loops in his pants in one smooth movement and stared at him, her chest heaving. "I think you're right."

You're an idiot, Stabler! He thought to himself.

Olivia smirked at his look of panic and said, "Yeah, you were definitely right when you said no more talking."

He exhaled the breath that was caught in his chest and pushed her onto the bed while she laughed.

"You're definitely gonna get it now."

**{EO}**

She woke up the next morning, squinting against the sunlight streaming through the blinds. She turned over to face him and smiled to herself thinking about the wild night they shared. Elliot was lying on his back, her soft Egyptian cotton sheets up to his waist, with one arm thrown over his eyes and the other stretched across his bare stomach. Olivia shifted under the covers toward him and gently placed the arm on his stomach at his side and lightly placed her thighs on the outside of each of his legs, straddling him. She looked down at him and her heart burst with the feelings she had for him, enflaming her entire body. She gently leaned over him and ran her tongue over the cut muscles of his abs, crossing to trace over the curve of his hip bone. Elliot began to stir and sighed in his sleep. She nuzzled against him and then continued the journey with her tongue up his torso and onto his solid chest, swirling around his nipple. She looked up at him and smirked when she saw he was now watching her through hooded eyelids, his breathing becoming more rapid. She circled her tongue around the other nipple and then took it between her teeth with a soft nip.

"God, Liv…" he groaned.

"Good morning," she smiled wickedly.

"I'll say!" He flipped her over in one swift movement and fisted her hair in his hand right above the nape of her neck, tugging lightly to raise her chin up. He ran his tongue from her collar bone up her throat in one languid movement.

"Mmmm. Feels good," she breathed.

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah."

He dipped down to kiss her hungrily, his hardness pushing at her entrance when her cell phone rang.

"Dammit!" She groaned.

"Ignore it…" he nibbled at her earlobe as she turned to grab the phone on the night table.

"It's Kathleen, El. I have to answer," she panted.

Breathing out harshly, he rolled off of her to let her speak to his daughter.

"Hey sweetie, what's up?" She looked at him with an apology written on her face.

"You all right, Olivia? You sound out of breath."

Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled internally. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Everything ok?"

"Yup, just calling to make sure you didn't forget about our lunch date at 12:30."

"Nope, didn't forget! I'll be there. Looking forward to it!"

"Cool, see you then. Later, Liv."

"Later gater!" Olivia hung up the phone and looked over at Elliot who was ogling her.

"Can I help you?" She teased, feigning disgust.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure you can," he glanced down at his hard member and leered at her, waggling his eyebrows.

"You're a pig!" She chuckled and went to push herself up off the bed.

Elliot grabbed her arm and pulled her on top of him as she yelped. "Get back here!" He ran his hands slowly up and down her back and kissed her softly.

He pulled away, his head sinking back into the plush pillows. The playfulness momentarily left his face as he said, "I love the way you are with my kids, especially Kathleen. I never thanked you for being there for her when she needed someone the most. I know I can be a real dick sometimes and give you a hard time, but I just want you to know how much it meant to me and my family that you were there."

Olivia closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his, "You know I'd do anything for you guys."

He ran his hand over her cheek, and then smiled mischievously, flipping her over again playfully. "Anything?"

"You can wipe that smirk off your face, Stabler," she laughed; the serious moment broken, neither of them good with talking about their feelings. Squirming out from underneath his strong body, Olivia sauntered over to the bathroom. She turned the faucet to start her shower and peeked out into her bedroom at Elliot, a lock of hair falling seductively over her right eye. He was sitting in her bed watching her every move with lust in his eyes.

"You waiting for a formal invitation?" She said as she stepped into the steamy shower.

His smirk returned as he hopped out of her bed and made his way in to join her.

Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

**{EO}**

Olivia arrived at the trendy café Kathleen selected for them to meet for lunch about ten minutes early. She grabbed them a round wrought iron table for two in a dimly lit corner of the room so they could have the privacy to talk about anything without her peers overhearing. The place was popular among Hudson University students and tended to get overly crowded with pupils desperate for a break from classes and a caffeinated pick me up around lunch time. Around fifteen minutes after she arrived, Olivia saw Kathleen's mouth moving, but could not comprehend anything that was being said. Her mind kept drifting to Elliot and she was too excited and nervous to think of anything else.

"All right, Olivia, who is he?" Kathleen said suddenly, with a look of exasperation.

"Huh? Who is who?" Olivia snapped out of her thoughts and stabbed a cherry tomato from her salad onto her fork.

"Uh, _hello_! I just told you I was pregnant and you didn't as much as flinch!" She giggled.

Olivia practically choked on her salad. "What?" she sputtered. "Kathleen, I swear if you're messing with me right now…"

She was silenced by the laughing girl in front of her.

"Not funny." She glared.

"Actually it kinda was! The look on your face…" Kathleen snickered.

"Okay, okay, enough there, missy!" Olivia took a sip of her iced tea and raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you think it's a man I'm thinking about?"

Kathleen's eyes widened. "A woman?" she questioned mischievously.

Olivia threw her balled up napkin at her across the table. "Wise ass. At least it's good to see you laughing again," she smiled.

"Don't try and change the subject," Kathleen said with determination.

Olivia sighed and rolled her neck to release some tension, trying to figure out what to tell the daughter of her new…lover? Friend with benefits? Potential boyfriend? She didn't even know what they were yet. It was too new and scary and complicated to share with anyone else at this point, let alone Kathleen. As she opened her mouth to formulate a safe response, a man entering the busy café caught her eye.

Dean Porter.

Well, shit.

Dean seemed to have caught her looking and his eyes widened in recognition. Kathleen noticed Olivia staring and looked over her shoulder at the handsome man walking toward their table. He had a cocky smirk on his face and was watching Olivia intensely.

"Is that him?" Kathleen whispered.

Olivia broke eye contact with Dean and answered, "What? No! He's just an old friend."

Kathleen breathed in Dean's cologne as he made his way over to Olivia. He was pretty cute in an older guy kind of way, she thought. Go, Liv!

"Dean…what are you doing here?" Olivia demanded.

"Good to see you too," he stated sarcastically.

The last time Olivia saw Dean was not exactly on good terms. He had screwed over her and Elliot on a case and then proceeded to act like it was no big deal. "Our feelings don't matter," he had said. She really thought he was one of the good ones before that happened. They always had a little flirtation going, though she didn't like him much at first. He won her over with his handsome looks and the way he helped her through some tough times. She definitely saw romantic potential once, but that was all blown to hell with his callous actions.

"Dean…"she started.

"Well, I'm gonna give you two some privacy for a few. Gotta head to the ladies room." Kathleen gave Olivia a knowing look as Olivia scowled back at her.

Dean sat down, uninvited, in Kathleen's chair, but at least had the decency to look sheepish. "Look, Olivia, I know the last time we saw each other ended badly, but…"

"You could say that!" She snorted.

He cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly in the chair. "Come on Olivia, why don't I cash in that rain check you offered a few months back and let me explain?" He reached out to place his hand over hers.

Moving her hand away from his, Olivia replied, "I don't think that's a good idea, Dean." She always had a bit of a soft spot for him and felt herself begin to weaken under his pleading gaze.

"We don't even have to meet at your apartment. I'll even settle for coffee…what do you say?" He smiled.

She knew it would probably be a terrible idea, but her curiosity as to how he would explain himself won out. Olivia also knew that she most likely would be forced to work with him sometime in the future and it's always best not to burn bridges. She gave him a half smile. "Fine…but just coffee and you better be prepared to do some serious groveling!"

Dean chuckled, "Fair enough." He stood up as Kathleen made her way back to the table and politely held out the chair for her.

"Thanks," she blushed as she sat.

"Dean, this is Kathleen, Stabler's daughter."

"Good to meet you, Kathleen. Unfortunately, I just came in to grab a cup of cappuccino to go. You ladies enjoy the rest of your lunch." He glanced over at Olivia and winked. "I'll call you about coffee."

Olivia rolled her eyes as she watched him walk away to order his beverage.

"Nice, Liv!" Kathleen smacked her arm from across the table excitedly.

"Kathleen," she warned. "It's not like that at all…at least not anymore." She looked down at her half eaten salad.

"Yeah, yeah, fine. Be that way! What happened with him anyway?" Kathleen questioned.

"It's a long story for another time. Now come on and finish up your lunch before it gets colder," Olivia smiled.

**{EO}**

"Hey dad!" Kathleen pressed a quick kiss to Elliot's cheek before heading over to rummage through Olivia's refrigerator.

"Hi, baby…didn't you and Olivia just eat?"

"It's the new meds. They make me so hungry all the time! I'm gonna gain like a thousand pounds," she pouted, pulling out a bunch of grapes.

"It'll be worth it if it means you feel better!" He teased. Elliot was so proud of her for sticking with her new medication and therapy. Although she still had her bad days, they were becoming fewer and fewer. The whole family had surrounded her this time, encircling her with support and comfort. They had all educated themselves about bipolar disorder and made efforts to understand Kathleen after her manic episode over a year ago. It made his heart swell how they had all come together, despite his and Kathy's split.

"Dad! I do not want to get fat!" Kathleen plopped down on the couch and popped the green grape in her mouth.

"I'm just teasing you, silly. You're eating grapes, not an entire cake or something. You'll be fine." He sat next her and threw his arm around her shoulder. "So how was lunch with Liv? She on her way up?"

Kathleen leaned on her father's shoulder. "Nah, she had some errands to run, so she just dropped me off. Said she'd be back within the hour."

"Gotcha." Elliot couldn't wait to see Olivia again. They had made love again in the shower before she got ready to leave for her lunch date with Kathleen. He couldn't stop thinking about her unbelievably curvaceous body and the way she made him feel with her surprisingly talented mouth and hands. They had already been good friends, and now, with this new intense physical connection, he became increasingly excited about the prospect of them dating and becoming more whenever he thought about it. He hadn't felt that way since…well, ever. When he started with Kathy, it had been puppy love, which slowly grew into something deeper with the birth of their children and their struggles to raise a family. He had felt passion for Kathy for many years into their marriage, but with Olivia…it was more like an erupting volcano. It happened so suddenly and so fast, but he couldn't be more eager to see where it would lead. The heat the two ignited was like none other he ever experienced. While it was not yet "love" for Elliot, he liked where it was heading. He knew he was screwed in the most delicious way. Olivia Benson had always been able to spark feelings in him from day one, whether they were anger, frustration, friendship, passion, or something more that he couldn't or wouldn't quite define back then, but now – now that everything was out in the open – yeah, he was fucked.

Elliot sighed and looked over at Kathleen who was staring at him as if he had two heads. "What?"

"First Olivia and now you…what's up with the goofy look on your face, dad?" she laughed.

"What're you talking about?" His smile grew wider at the thought of Olivia being giddy thinking of him too.

She popped another grape in her mouth and said, "You have that same love-sick, cheesy look on your face that Liv had during lunch when we ran into that cute FBI guy."

Elliot's stomach dropped and his face flushed an angry red. "What FBI guy?" He tried to remain in control in front of his daughter, but was ready to lose it if she was talking about that douche- bag Porter. What the fuck was he doing back in town and how did he manage to just "run into" Olivia out of the billion cafés that existed in the city?

Kathleen watched her father's expression change from dreamy to thoroughly pissed within a span of about ten seconds. She answered him cautiously. "Um, I think his name was Dave or Dean…something with a D. Olivia said they used to have a 'thing' and they made a coffee date. Do you know who he is?" she asked curiously.

"A _date_?" Elliot said through clenched teeth. He pushed himself off the couch and began to pace the small living room as Kathleen looked on in confusion.

What the hell was going on? After everything that happened between them the night before, Olivia went and made a date with the one asshole she _knew_ he couldn't stand? He was so stupid to believe that their newfound relationship, or whatever it was, could have actually meant something more than sex to her. After they had made love for the second time the previous night, they had talked until dawn about how great they could be together and agreed to talk more the next day about how things could affect work, his family, their lives. They never agreed to be exclusive or anything yet, things were far too new, but shit…Dean fucking Porter?

His hands clenched into fists at his sides holding back the desire to punch something. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe Kathleen misunderstood. He took a deep breath and remembered that Kathleen was still sitting on the couch, staring at him with a furrowed brow.

Elliot shook himself out of his furious thoughts and said, "Sorry, baby, my mind just wandered a minute there."

"Ya think?" she huffed. "Geez, dad, what's up with you? You look like you're about to knock someone out!" She glanced at her watch and headed for the door. "Crap, it's getting late and I promised mom I'd be back early to help with Eli. Gotta run, dad!" She placed a quick kiss on his cheek and scurried out of the apartment before he could respond, knowing she must have hit a sore spot somehow.

Watching his daughter leave because of his reaction, Elliot made a decision right then. He had to get out of there. If he was already this emotional over Olivia, he knew things were happening too quickly. They never even talked about being exclusive. He had to pack his suitcase and redouble his efforts to find his own place. He would stay in a hotel until he figured things out. Elliot had no fucking clue how to date, especially how to date Olivia. As he was rolling out his small suitcase from Olivia's coat closet, he heard a stirring at the door.

Olivia walked in with a paper bag full of groceries in her arm. Elliot's heart raced in her presence, but he willed himself to keep his distance.

"Hey El," she smiled brightly while placing the heavy bag on the wooden countertop. She walked over to him and shyly pecked him on the lips.

He watched her stiffly as she put the groceries away; restraining himself from taking her in his arms and begging her not to end things between them before they even truly began.

"What're you doing?" she asked nodding her head at the suitcase before him.

"I gotta go," he blurted, surprising even himself.

Olivia froze and stared at him. She knew it was too good to be true. She never should have let herself believe that he could actually return her feelings. Had the previous night meant nothing to him?

Elliot looked away from her piercing gaze toward the suitcase in front of him on the hardwood floor. "I think I've overstayed my welcome and you know, I _am_ newly single – so, you know- it's time I got my own bachelor pad or something." He tried to sound casual.

Her eyes widened in shock, disbelief those words actually left his lips after the night they shared. After all they had meant to each other over the years. Obviously he didn't feel the same. She tried to shake off the hurt expression she was sure marred her face.

Olivia's eyebrows knitted together. "You found a place, El?"

He looked around the apartment nervously, not wanting to lose control in front of her or let her know how much this was killing him. "No, just going to stay in a hotel till I find something. I'm sure you're looking forward to getting your place back to yourself so you can do what you want and, you know, have whoever you want over…" he trailed off.

She looked at him inquisitively. "What are you talking abou…oh, Kathleen," she surmised. She walked over to grab his wrist above the hand that was clutched to the handle of his suitcase. "Look, El, I don't know what you think is going on, but…"

"Stop, Liv!" he jerked his hand out of her grasp. "It's none of my business. It was just one night with us, okay? No big deal." He flinched at the look of hurt and disgust that took over her beautiful face - ashamed that he was the one who put it there. "I'm just gonna get my stuff and –"

"Get the fuck out!" she whispered harshly. She backed away from him and headed to her bedroom. "You son of a bitch!" She sobbed as she slammed the door behind her.

Elliot stared at her closed bedroom door, restraining himself from following her and kissing away her tears. Then he reminded himself what Kathleen had told him. She made a date with Dean.

Fuck. That.

This wasn't worth the drama, he told himself. He needed to leave and move on with his life. It was probably too soon to start dating again anyway. Screw Olivia and screw Dean and screw everything! He roughly pushed aside his pathetic little suitcase that he never used and stormed out of the apartment, crashing the door behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you again to my wonderful Beta, DarkAlley29! You rock, Belle! Also a huge thanks to everyone that reviewed…they really do make my day! Hope you enjoy…**

Beside her mother – may she rest in peace- Olivia had never been hurt so much by someone she loved. She was curled up in the fetal position on the bed she and Elliot had made love on. The bed they had confessed their feelings on and talked about a hopeful future together. As the tears slid down her cheeks, Olivia knew it was too good to be true. They were over before they'd begun. The insensitive things Elliot said had cut her deep. He was so flippant about their night together and wouldn't even allow Olivia to explain what happened with Dean.

Fucking Dean!

She could really give two shits about him anymore. Olivia had no intention of actually meeting up with Dean, but she just wanted to see him squirm a bit and now look what it had cost her. The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. At Dean, at herself, at Elliot. Elliot had completely overreacted and, though she knew that was part of his character, she had hoped that he would have had more faith and trust in her after she opened up to him about her feelings for him. Did he really think so little of their potential relationship that he'd throw it away over something so trivial?

Screw him then.

Olivia pulled herself out of bed and stalked out the door to find him and give him a piece of her mind. Yes, she loved him, but she refused to let him run without getting some answers first. She knew he would be one of two places; at the station or with his kids. Hoping he was headed for the station, Olivia hailed a cab and prepared herself for battle.

**{EO}**

With his tail between his legs, Elliot made his way back to Olivia's apartment after walking around the block a few times to cool off. He was still hurt and angry, but was finally calm enough to go back and pack his suitcase. All he wanted to do was get the hell out of that apartment and pretend as if the last few weeks with Olivia had never happened. He felt he would never be able to forgive her for making a date with Dean after being with him, no matter what the circumstance. If it had been any other man, Elliot would not have been quite as furious, but Olivia knew how he felt about Dean. Whenever he saw the FBI Agent, he wanted to wipe the cocky, superior look off his pretty-boy face.

Standing outside the apartment door in the dimly lit hallway, Elliot took a deep breath and used his key to enter. The lights were on and Olivia's bedroom door was now open. He called out to her, but there was no answer. Good, he thought now he would be able to get his stuff together and leave in peace. As he packed his small, old suitcase, Elliot looked around the apartment. The bag of groceries Olivia had brought home was still left unattended on the kitchen countertop and he remembered the lights were left on even though she was not around. Had she left in a hurry to come after him? A spark of hope flickered in his stomach at the thought that she could be out looking for him, but he tamped down the feeling so he could focus on the fact that he was still really pissed off.

Elliot tucked the last of his belongings in his suitcase and zipped it closed. Feeling a twinge of sadness, he walked over to the notepad Olivia kept near her phone and scribbled a quick message. He stared at it for a few moments, then turned around, grabbed his bag, and left for the nearest hotel.

**{EO}**

Not finding Elliot at the station anywhere, Olivia headed outside, squinting at the bright city lights glowing against the darkening night sky. She sat down on one of the cold, concrete steps outside of the precinct and ran a hand through her hair, wondering how it all went so wrong so quickly. She should be used to it by now. Happiness was a fleeting emotion in her life. It was times like these that she wished she had a close female friend. Whenever she was stressed out or needed to talk, she would either hold it in or turn to Elliot. What do you do when your closest friend is the one causing you pain?

Olivia stood up and headed down the street, shoving her cold hands into her jacket pockets. As she made her way to the small pub on the corner, she began to wonder how everything was going to affect her and Elliot's partnership. She wanted to cling to him desperately and punch him in the face all at the same time.

Making her way into the warm pub, Olivia took in her surroundings before deciding where to sit at the bar. There were a handful of patrons scattered throughout, and just as she was about to head to an empty barstool she spotted him. Dean Porter.

If she doubted it before, she was now sure that God (if he existed) did in fact hate her.

"Hey, Olivia!" Dean motioned for her to join him.

Olivia tentatively took a few steps forward. "You stalking me now, Porter?"

He chuckled and pulled her to sit down on the stool next to him. "Just a happy coincidence seeing you twice in one day," he smiled.

Olivia rolled her eyes but smiled back despite herself. She could really use a drinking buddy about now, as much as she wished it was Elliot sitting next to her instead of Dean. Then again, she wouldn't need to be drinking if it were Elliot sitting next to her.

She shrugged off her jacket and placed it on the back of the stool. "Buy me a beer and maybe I'll believe you. What are you doing here alone anyway?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied, motioning to the bartender for a beer.

"Fair enough." Before the beer even touched the bar, Olivia snatched it from the bartender and downed over half.

Dean watched her in disbelief. "Whoa, slow down there, Olivia. You're going to end up wasted in fifteen minutes if you keep that up."

She chugged the rest of the beer and ordered another. "Yeah, well, that's kinda the point."

Dean placed his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. "You want to talk about it?"

Olivia raised her right eyebrow and lifted her fresh beer to her lips. "Not with you."

"Ouch…I guess I deserved that. Look Olivia, I'm really sorry about how we ended things last time, but if you let me explain…"

"Don't bother," she interrupted. Dean winced at her words. "Look, it bothered me for a while, but I'm over it, Dean. I just want to be civil because I'm sure we'll end up working together again in the future. Truth is, I just don't trust you anymore and I want to keep our relationship professional, okay?"

Dean stared at her for a long moment before throwing some cash onto the bar and grabbing his coat. "If that's what you want, I'll respect it as much as it sucks." He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry it has to be this way, Olivia, but if you ever change your mind, I'll be here." He leaned in and softly kissed her cheek and headed out of the bar.

Dean had only walked about three steps before he felt a fist painfully connect to his jaw, causing him to stumble backward from the force. Holding the side of his jaw, he looked over at the asshole that caused the throbbing in his face.

"What the _fuck_, Stabler!"

**{EO}**

As Elliot closed the trunk of his ratty, old car over his suitcase, he decided that before heading to a hotel, he'd grab a beer or five after the shitty night he had. There was a little hole in the wall pub over by the precinct that he could head to so if he got too drunk to drive, he could always just pass out in the crib for the night.

He thought about his last conversation with Olivia as he made his way to the bar. He really hadn't given her a fair chance to explain herself, although he couldn't imagine what she could possibly have to say for herself. She had made a date with Dean. It wasn't something he could get past. He finally had been able to admit he had feelings for her, and she went ahead and threw it back in his face. She had been the one bright light in the darkness of the past few weeks for him. If he was completely honest with himself, he didn't want to find another place. He had been enjoying himself at Olivia's. He was truly falling for her. They were good friends, she was beautiful, smart, sexy, and they had amazing chemistry in bed. She made him feel like a teenager again in the best ways possible. Why the fuck could nothing be easy? Elliot tried to force down the loving feelings he had toward his partner and began to focus on the way she hurt him instead.

Anger was an emotion he could handle.

Maybe he would talk to her tomorrow after they both had a chance to think and be less emotional. Elliot sighed as he parallel parked into a spot near the bar, put a few quarters in the meter and made his way inside. As he entered the dark bar, he scanned the area noticing that it was relatively empty, save a few patrons playing pool and occupying a couple of booths. It wasn't until his eyes locked on the couple sitting on a couple of barstools directly in front of him that he reacted. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. It couldn't be. He looked again at Dean fucking Porter and Olivia chatting quite cozily at the bar. He watched as Dean leaned into her, hand on her shoulder, and kissed her cheek softly.

The anger boiled inside him and took control of his body. His heart thumped heavily in his chest and a flash of heat consumed him. Elliot clenched his jaw and balled his fists at his sides.

Were these two fucking serious?

It hadn't even been two hours since he left Olivia's apartment and there she sat, with the enemy, enjoying a cocktail and intimate conversation. All he felt while he looked at the two was anger and betrayal. He took a deep breath and waited. Waited for Porter to head in his direction and then he struck. He slammed his right fist into Dean's jaw and he'd be dammed if it didn't feel fucking great.

"What the _fuck_, Stabler," Dean shouted, clutching his wounded face.

Elliot simply stared at Olivia who looked as though she had been punched herself.

**{EO}**

Olivia watched in horror as the scene before her unfolded. Dean shoved Elliot forcefully against the nearest table, causing the bartender to hop over the bar and break up the impending fight. Olivia ran over to Dean and placed her hand on his cheek to inspect the damage.

"Are you okay?"

"This_ asshole_ you call a partner has some serious issues, Olivia." Dean brushed off his trench coat and turned toward Elliot. "You're lucky I don't press charges on your ass for assault!"

"Elliot, what the hell are you doing?" Olivia questioned.

"Everything under control here?" the bartender asked loudly, puffing out his chest to demonstrate his authority.

"Yes, I'm sorry. We were just about to leave," Olivia said grabbing her jacket and her men. If she could call them that. More like children about now.

Dean and Elliot both mumbled apologies to the bartender as they all made their way out of the bar.

Once outside, the three stared at each other in the chilly night air. Dean was the first to break the awkward silence.

"Well, I'm out of here. Sorry Olivia," he looked at her sadly. "Elliot, as usual, it's been a pleasure," he stated sarcastically. Elliot and Olivia watched as Dean slipped into a cab and disappeared into the night.

"And then there were two," Elliot muttered.

"What the hell is your problem?" Olivia was furious. "Who do you think you are barging in here and starting a fight with Dean? Did you follow me or something?"

Elliot scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself. I was just planning on grabbing a drink before checking into a hotel." He paused, watching her expression change from angry to something he couldn't identify. "Added bonus that you and Agent fuckhead were in here getting cozy. Aren't I lucky?" he spat.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him. "Is this seriously how it's going to be from now on, Elliot? You are acting like a jealous husband, when I haven't even…"

"I don't want to hear it!"Elliot interrupted. "I came here to drink and forget and maybe even calm down after what happened earlier," he snorted. "Then what do I see? Porter kissing you and -"

"Stop!" Olivia commanded. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about or what you saw. I came after you when you stormed out of my apartment. You weren't at the precinct, so I figured I'd drown my sorrows and Dean just happened to be here. I never made a _date_ with him and I'd never hurt you like that." She looked down at her shoes, clutching her jacket closer to her body as a cold breeze rushed by. "I just- I just wouldn't do that to you," she sniffed. "I love you, Elliot," she whispered.

He looked at her in shock before turning on his heels and leaving her alone, shivering in the cold night.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: You guys are great! The reviews have been awesome! Keep them coming please! :) ****As always, thanks to my fabulous beta DarkAlley29. Hope you enjoy…probably only 1 more chapter left after this one!**

It was too much. It was all too much too soon. Elliot went rigid when he heard Olivia whisper those three words.

She loved him.

Elliot walked toward the precinct, his mind in a fog. The events of the past few days swirled in his mind like a tornado of emotion and confusion. He knew he had been an ass to leave Olivia standing there alone after her confession, but he honestly didn't know what to say. He had been enraged only a moment prior to her potentially life altering words. Could she have been telling the truth? Was her running into Dean again really just a coincidence?

Holy shit, she loved him.

Elliot's gut clenched with nervousness and excitement with the thought. As he approached the steps of the 1-6, Elliot mentally slapped himself. What was he doing? The woman he was crazy about just conveyed her love for him and he walked away from her. He slumped down onto the cold concrete of the precinct steps and stared blankly ahead.

Too fast.

Everything was happening too fast. The feelings Olivia brought out of him were so intense, making every moment with her seem momentous. Elliot felt sick to his stomach when he visualized Dean and Olivia together, but felt even sicker imagining the look on her face when he walked away. Tears stung his eyes as Elliot closed them against the cold wind. He really was an ass. Olivia was the only person who had made him feel truly alive in the past few weeks. He could talk to her about anything, he would die to protect her, and there he was – hurting her.

Scared as he was, Elliot could not let her go this easily. If Porter was his competition, then he'd fight for her if that's what she wanted. The potential of an amazing relationship with Olivia far outweighed letting her walk into someone else's arms because of his stubbornness. Elliot had to trust her. Had to believe that she wouldn't hurt him by starting something up again with Dean.

God, every time he imagined what her face must have looked like when he left her, it made Elliot increasingly disgusted with himself. He had to make this right. Pushing himself off the step, he walked back to his car, put the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the parking spot, heading in the direction of Olivia's apartment building.

**{EO}**

Walked away.

Olivia told him that she loved him and Elliot…_walked away_. It had felt like a punch to her gut. Olivia hadn't felt so humiliated in as long as she could remember. Elliot had punched Dean in the face in a jealous rage, yet he didn't feel the same way as she did. How could she have been so wrong? She took a chance and handed Elliot her heart, allowed herself to be completely vulnerable. She hated feeling vulnerable, but she had to make him understand that he was so wrong in his assumption about her and Dean and it all blew up in her face. Elliot had looked horrified at her words and now things would never be okay between them.

After Elliot had walked away from her, Olivia had stared at his retreating form until he faded into the night. The cold wind had rustled her hair and sent chills down her spine. She felt numb. Inhaling deeply, Olivia turned around and made her way back into the pub, fully prepared to drown her sorrows.

**{EO}**

Making his way into Olivia's apartment, Elliot hung up his coat in the closet and toed off his shoes. He was determined to apologize and have a rational conversation about their future together. Peering into the brown paper grocery bag Olivia had left on the kitchen countertop, Elliot formulated a plan. He would cook her a nice meal, light some candles, and show her how sorry he was – prove to her that he wouldn't let her go so easily. Sure they had a lot to work out and would definitely have bumps in the road, but he had to try. He would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't.

When over two hours had passed with no Olivia, Elliot began to worry. The meal he prepared was warming in the oven, the bottle of Cabernet sat unopened on the kitchen table. The candles he had lit were half melted, wax pooling against the glass that cradled them. The only light in the apartment was from the soft, flickering glow emanating from the votives he placed throughout the small kitchen and living room.

Just as he was about to call her, Elliot heard a rustling outside of the apartment door. His heart picked up speed in his chest as he anticipated her reaction to the romantic ambiance he created.

Olivia entered her apartment slamming the door open hard against the wall. "Elliot…what're you doing here?" she slurred.

Elliot stared at her in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you drunk, Olivia?" He felt his blood pressure begin to rise, but breathed deeply to remain in control.

"Little bit," she admitted.

Olivia threw her jacket on the couch and removed her boots before looking around her apartment. She took in the scene before her and felt her senses come alive. There was a delicious aroma coming from her kitchen, soft jazz floating out of her CD player, and her apartment was bathed in candlelight. She blinked a few times and shook her head before staring at Elliot as if she had never met him.

"What's going on here, El?" Olivia tilted her head to the side, her hair forming a dark, silky curtain over her right eye, brows furrowed in confusion.

Elliot had been so pissed off at her drunken condition after all of his efforts to create a special night to compensate for all the bullshit of the past two days, but when he looked at her like that, the fight melted from his body. God, she was beautiful…even drunk.

"Where have you been?" he asked, trying to maintain his calm.

"Went back to the bar..." she trailed off as she walked into her kitchen on unsteady legs. She bent down and opened the oven to peer in to see what Elliot had made for her. For _her_. Suddenly it hit her that all of this was for her – from Elliot.

"Yeah, no kidding," Elliot huffed. He then breathed and looked down at the floor. "I thought maybe we could talk. I mean, I'm sorry about what happened before and – shit Liv, I don't know how to do this."

Olivia caressed his face with her glassy eyes and silently cursed herself for being drunk when he finally wanted to talk. She had been so heartbroken before she stepped into her apartment – into an alternate universe. She thought Elliot had merely dismissed her profession of love for him, but perhaps there was hope for them after all. Olivia swayed slightly and stammered her response, still in a bit of shock that Elliot was actually there apologizing and being romantic.

"It's my fault, El. I shouldn't have said…you know…what I said, you know?"

God, she was cute when she was drunk.

Elliot smiled as he stepped toward her and reached out to brush the soft strands of hair away from her eye. "Just tell me there's no more Porter…or any other guy. Just tell me that and I swear I'll do what I can to fix this."

Flinging her body roughly against him in complete surprise and joy at his words, Olivia wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck and slurred, "S'nobody else…never was."

Elliot grabbed around her waist, pulling her in tightly. With his lips lightly brushing against her ear, he murmured, "That's all I wanted to hear, Liv."

Olivia released a bottled up breath and pressed her lips against his with a hunger she never felt before. Elliot opened his mouth to her, their tongues and souls intertwining. She felt an intense need, in her drunken state, to never let him go. To consume and be consumed by him. She moaned into his mouth and pulled him into her body even tighter, scratching her nails down his clothed back and grinding slightly into his emerging erection.

Olivia's nails created trails of fire down his back and Elliot began to burn with need. "Fuck, Liv," he groaned, thrusting against her. He couldn't believe she was forgiving him so easily, but he sure as hell wasn't going to complain.

Olivia pressed hot, open mouthed kisses along his jaw and down his throat, licking and sucking on the way to his broad shoulder, pushing the neck of his soft T-shirt aside.

Suddenly, all he wanted to do was possess her. The sensations she was drawing from his heated body made him want to throw her down and take her roughly. He couldn't help it. Olivia was the sexiest woman he had ever seen and even though he'd already had her a couple of times, it would never be enough now that he already had a delicious taste.

Olivia sighed softly as Elliot's large, rough hand made it's way underneath her blouse, skimming up the heated skin of her torso to cup her full breast. His thumb swiped gently across her erect nipple as she cried out, drowning out the soft jazz that filled the small apartment. She didn't think she had ever been so turned on as she was at that moment.

"El," she panted. "I need you inside me…_please_. Please just…just _now_!" She cupped his erection, squeezing lightly.

Elliot growled with frustration and it took all of the restraint he had to peel himself off of Olivia instead of ripping off her clothes and pounding into her like he wanted. Gasping for air, he stepped back and gritted his teeth.

"Liv, you're drunk," he breathed. "As- as much as I want this right now…I just can't." Elliot pried his trembling hands off of her and clenched his fists at his sides, trying to stave off the intense need to touch her again.

"Oh I think you can," Olivia cooed, her voice deep with desire.

Elliot cursed under his breath. He deserved a gold medal in showing restraint against extreme hotness, he had decided.

He leaned into her and roughly fisted the back of Olivia's hair in his hands, placing his lips against hers in the barest whisper of a kiss. "Liv, there is nothing more I want right now than to make love to every fucking inch of your ridiculous body, but you are not in your right mind right now. You've been drinking for the past couple hours and I know- I _know_ you are still pissed at me deep down." His voice was low and hoarse with need, sending a pool of desire low in Olivia's stomach. Elliot licked the soft flesh under her left earlobe, and then nipped lightly before he continued. "As much as I want you, I think you should go to bed and sleep this off."

In her alcoholic haze, Olivia struggled to process what was being said to her. She looked at him with confusion. Elliot _didn't_ want her? He wanted her to go to bed alone and _sleep_? What the fuck was she doing?

Completely humiliated and sobering slightly, Olivia pushed against Elliot's hard chest, creating some distance between them.

"Oh , God," she gasped, covering her face with her hands. A deep flush took over her cheeks as she made her way to her bedroom and slammed the door shut. Again.

"Fuck," Elliot muttered sinking into the couch cushions. She had misinterpreted everything he had been trying to do. He hadn't wanted them to have any type of deep conversation or make love while Olivia was in an altered state of mind.

Elliot ran his hand harshly over his face in frustration and pushed himself off of the couch, making his way to her bedroom door. He knocked softly and pressed his ear against the door. "Liv? Liv- I didn't mean-"

"Go away Elliot!" Olivia shouted from within the dark bedroom. "You've made your point…just leave me alone and I'll see you at work tomorrow okay?" Her voice sounded so small.

Although she was trying to sound strong, Elliot knew she was breaking. Hell, _he_ was breaking. This was not how he had imagined the evening ending at all.

"Liv, _please_! Just open the door and talk to me."

"Jus' go" she slurred. "I'm done making a fool of myself with you."

Elliot sighed in defeat and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck to relieve some tension. He walked through her apartment, blowing out the candles and turning off the stove. He gathered his coat and shoes and left her apartment, locking the door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This is the last chapter! Hope it doesn't disappoint…let me know what you think! Thanks again to all who reviewed and stuck with me during my first story **** I couldn't have done it half as well without the amazing Beta skills and e-mail chats with DarkAlley29. Again, Belle, you kick ass! LOL **

Olivia squinted against the sunlight streaming through the blinds in her bedroom. Groaning as she turned over, she glanced at the glowing digital numbers on her bedside table.

6:53 am.

What the fuck happened last night? Her head pounded and her mouth felt like it was filled with cotton balls. Realizing she was still in her clothes from the previous night, Olivia wracked her brain trying to remember what exactly had happened.

Slowly pushing herself out of bed, Olivia shuffled sleepily into her living room. When she caught sight of the half melted candles and unopened wine bottle, everything clicked into place.

Elliot. _Fuck_.

The previous night came flooding back. She had drunkenly thrown herself at Elliot. He had been trying to tell her something, that much she could remember, but more specifically what she recalled was how she had made a fool of herself.

Again.

A harsh thud against her apartment door startled Olivia from her thoughts.

"Fuck!" The voice was muffled through the wood, but obviously Elliot's.

As Olivia opened the door, Elliot slumped onto his side and onto her hardwood floor. Rubbing his temple, he stared up at her, disoriented.

"The hell are you doing, Elliot?"

"Musta fell asleep," Elliot yawned, still stretched out on her floor. "You alright?"

Olivia blinked. "Elliot, are you gonna tell me what you were doing sleeping outside of my apartment?"

Elliot had to stifle the urge to laugh. Olivia's hair was in disarray, her make up smudged, and her clothing rumpled; yet there she was, trying her damndest to look threatening with her hands on her hips and chin tilted up.

Slowly, Elliot pushed himself up into a seated position and then finally managed to lift himself onto his feet. "Relax, Liv. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and I knew you wouldn't appreciate me crashing on your couch while you were in your room cursing my existence."

Visibly deflating, Olivia suddenly became aware of her appearance and Elliot's perusal of the length of her body.

Pulling her sweater tight and crossing her arms under her breasts, Olivia released a sigh of resigned frustration.

"I'm really sorry, El…for _everything_ that happened last night. I never should have- I mean, what I said and what I _did…_Oh, God I'm an idiot!" Olivia rubbed her eye with the heel of her hand as she repeated the sentiment. "I'm an idiot."

Elliot huffed out a breath in relief. She wasn't angry, she was sorry. Sorry for everything that happened between them or sorry for getting drunk, he wasn't sure yet. One thing Elliot _was_ sure of was that he was done with the two of them running and pushing each other way. They needed to sit down once and for all and figure things out. It wasn't going to be easy, but it needed to be done if they had any chance in hell of making a relationship happen.

Olivia couldn't maintain eye contact with Elliot. He had been silent for the past couple of minutes and all she could think about was how pathetic he must think she was.

The floorboards creaked beneath him as Elliot walked over to Olivia and reached out to brush the tousled hair from her face.

She looked up at him, an expression of surprise coloring her face. "El…" she started.

Elliot silenced her with his soft lips brushing gently against her own. After a moment, he pulled back and reached for her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Can we start over, Liv? Can we just pick up where we left off before you went to meet Kathleen for lunch?

"There's a lot we need to talk about, El. A lot to work out, but…yeah, we can start over." She smiled brightly as she leaned in to wrap her arms around Elliot's neck, pulling him close against her body. Elliot ran his hand up and down her back, soothing her. Soothing them. They stood like that for a few long moments.

"I'm going to take a quick shower, and then we can talk, okay?" Olivia's words were mumbled into his neck, her lips skimming against the skin there.

Elliot shivered. "You sure you don't want some company in there?" He teased.

Olivia released a shaky breath. "_El_," she warned with a lopsided grin. "We really should talk before- before, we go any further, you know?"

Elliot peeled himself off of her body and nodded, acknowledging that she was right. "I know, I know…you're right," he said with reluctance.

Olivia's eyes widened. "I'm what?" She questioned mischievously.

He rolled his eyes. "I said you're right, okay Liv. You're right, we should talk before I throw you down on your bed and do dirty, dirty things to that crazy body of yours," he groaned.

She laughed as she sauntered into the bathroom, tantalizingly peeling her clothes off along the way.

"_Christ_-"Elliot whispered.

Olivia looked at him over her shoulder and smirked before closing the bathroom door behind her.

**{EO}**

The woman was going to kill him one way or another.

As Elliot sunk back into the couch cushions, he wondered how the hell they got here. It absolutely terrified him that he was falling so hard so fast and so soon after his separation. Even though the divorce papers were moving swiftly through the courts, he was nowhere near being a completely free man. He loved his almost ex-wife, he did. She would always be part of his family and she was good woman.

But Olivia…

Olivia, on the other hand, was a completely different kind of woman. She was passionate and strong and knew what she wanted. At least most of the time. Being with her would be difficult and most likely a struggle more often than not; but it was a chance Elliot was more than willing to take. Olivia was the only person that could infuriate him and make him weak with desire in the same moment. She brought out a possessive, animalistic side to his personality and that scared the shit out of him. But fuck if it wasn't exhilarating.

He could do this. He _wanted_ to do this. He'd never felt this way about anybody, including his ex, as guilty as that made him feel.

**{EO}**

Olivia toweled off after her hot shower and grabbed her vanilla coconut body lotion. As she smoothed the cool cream over her warm body, she remembered something from the previous night and began to panic.

She had been so drunk and focused on seducing him, that she forgot the reason behind her actions. She told him she loved him and he walked away.

Fuck, how could she forget that?

He came back though. She had to remember he came back and tried to make things right. Olivia told him way too soon. The man had only moved out of his home a couple weeks prior. What did she really expect?

She could handle this. She just had to breathe and hear Elliot out.

Olivia slipped on her gray fitted sweatpants and navy blue V-neck T-shirt, then headed out into the living room.

Elliot was sprawled out on her couch watching Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan bickering on the television. He had a faraway look on his face as he watched.

Olivia leaned against the bedroom doorframe and smiled. "Ever see this one before?"

Elliot looked over at her and lowered the volume on the TV. "Yeah, When Harry Met Sally." Kinda reminds me of us in a weird way now that I think of it, ya know?"

Olivia smiled wider as she walked over and sunk into the couch, curling into Elliot. "I guess I can see it. They were friends for over ten years before they realized there was more…"

"Yeah, they argued, they laughed, and they went through a lot of ups and downs separately and together, but they came out strong in the end." Elliot leaned his temple against hers.

"Listen to you, Stabler…you getting soft on me?" Olivia teased.

"Definitely not soft, Benson. Want me to show you?" He began to unbutton his fly.

"Elliot!" She batted his hand away from his pants. "Now that's the Stabler I'm used to," she rolled her eyes and smirked.

"What'd I say?" He asked, feigning innocence.

Olivia chuckled as she straddled him on the couch, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her fingers ran through the closely cropped hair at his nape as she whispered seductively. "I thought we were gonna talk."

"Talking's over- rated," he breathed hotly against her lips. Elliot grabbed her hips and pulled her down harder onto his erection. Olivia moaned softly. "Do you have any idea what you do to me, Liv?"

Olivia rolled her hips against him and pressed her full breasts against his hard, muscled chest. "I think I have an idea…" She softly pressed her full lips against his cheek, dragging them across to the corner of his mouth.

Elliot cupped her face and opened his mouth to deepen this kiss, massaging his tongue against hers relentlessly.

Finally, Olivia pulled back slightly and with her eyes still closed, said breathlessly, "El, we- we really do need to talk before we- before we…oh, God."

Elliot had slipped his fingers beneath the front band of her sweatpants and was teasingly making his way toward her wetness. "Shit, Liv. You're not wearing any panties? If you wanted to talk, then why…"

Olivia silenced him with her mouth as he slid his index finger down against her most sensitive spot. She released a shuddering moan into him before pulling his hand out of her pants.

"_Please_," she panted against his ear. "We have to figure out what's happening between us, El."

Elliot inhaled deeply and let his head fall back against the cushion. "Okay, okay…I know we agreed to talk but it's really hard, pun intended, with you straddling me like this."

Olivia laughed as she pulled back to look at his face, still straddling his lap, "Fair enough."

Elliot gave her a half smile and ran his hands through her silky hair, still damp from her shower. He kissed her gently and then his features became serious. "Listen, Liv, I know you are freaking out about what you said last night when I- you know, when I walked away after the fucking Porter incident and I'm sorry. Honestly though, I just didn't know what to say. I just got out of my marriage and the feelings I have for you are so new- crazy intense- but new. I didn't know you had those feelings for me…"

"Stop, El-I" Olivia began to lift herself off of Elliot, but his strong arms held her down so she couldn't move.

"No, just listen for once, would you?" he growled. Elliot kissed the soft patch of flesh just under her earlobe before he continued. "You- Olivia, you are everything I never knew I wanted. I just wish I figured it out sooner."

Olivia's eyes welled up with unshed tears as she pressed her forehead against Elliot's. "I always knew I wanted you, El. It's about time you caught up," she breathed.

Elliot smiled against her lips. "I know it's not gonna be easy but we gotta try and we gotta promise that we won't let the other run for too long when shit gets hard. All we do is push and pull and avoid and it gets us fucking nowhere."

"You've been hanging around Huang too much," she joked. "But you're right…"

With a wide grin, Elliot pulled her tightly against his body and spoke only a few words before closing his mouth on hers in a hot kiss.

"I'm sorry…I'm what?"


End file.
